Koheleth
by Laryna6
Summary: Imprisoned in Hod's sephiroth, young Vandesdelca knows that no one will come to save him or his homeland: thus saith the Score. History is Lorelei's memory is the Score, Luke learned, so why should he feel constrained by either of them? Time-travel fic.
1. Hod

Regarding pairings in this story: especially on a second playthrough, Ion's reaction to Luke in Cheagle Woods is both cute and heartbreaking. 'OMFG, someone is treating me as an actual human being and cares about what I want!' It's the direct opposite of Asch ordering him to stay on the Tartarus, and that scene in Ortion Cavern ends up very harsh in the context of it. It sets up the contrast between original and replica very well, and kind of clears up any doubt about which is the 'evil' twin, at least for me. It's also a moment that made Anise fall even further in my esteem, since she doesn't pick up on any of this at all. She thinks Asch's actions were out of kindness instead of selfishness, and she likely would have thought the opposite of Luke's kindness. It shows how, to her, Ion is still really a doll at that stage…

She doesn't really seem to realize his value to her until she sells him out for the last time.

Here is Asch, who knows how to act kind, but his actions seem subconsciously designed to cause the most pain possible throughout the entire game to every single character, including himself but especially Natalia (Luke takes a close second, but still second place – for him, it's Van that matters), and in Cheagle Woods there was Luke, who had no idea how to act kind but was always thinking of others to the best of his handicapped ability. Ion's recognition of this is 'out of the mouths of babes:' the others are too stuck in what they expect to see to see what's really there.

The idea of someone being raised by people who basically saw them as a suicide bomb they were waiting to deploy is a very heartbreaking one that's going to do incredible damage to those involved. Van's situation would have been worse than Luke's, since he _knew_ and people were actively justifying horrific experiments based on him being the eviler one. Just as the party used Luke as a scapegoat after Akzeriuth, his family, the scientists, Malkuth's nobility and so on would have been using Van for far longer, and he would have known it. As a child.

No: it's _very _possible that Luke is the first person Ion ever encountered who saw him as Ion, not a replica or the Fon Master. That's something people _need_, so Ion being devoted enough to sacrifice his life for Luke, both in reading that prophecy and ensuring his death by taking Tear's place, makes a great deal of sense. Love at first sight.

There are many kinds of love besides romantic love, though. In that context, Van's devotion to Guy and Tear despite their actual actions makes a great deal of sense, and in this universe, he's going to have his own Cheagle Woods moment…

Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of the Abyss or any related properties. No infringement intended or money made.

* * *

Vandesdelca had no idea what was going on.

He knew what it _seemed _like, but dramatic rescues didn't happen in real life. People could not avert their Scored fates, and no one was going to try to rescue _him_.

So when he'd been awoken by the commotion outside his cell, heard the guards yelling order and scrambling to respond and managed to make out that one of them had red hair he had assumed, like the soldiers had, that the Butcher had found out about the research here and was trying to seize it. It was odd that there were only two of them: Kimlasca didn't have any powerful fonists. Everyone said that was why it needed fontech. The most powerful seventh fonists all descended from the people of Hod and Yulia City, through Yulia's descendants, and Malkuth had ruled Keterburg and denied Kimlasca access to its bloodlines for generations now.

He'd been hoping against hope that maybe the Kimlascan would kill him, so that he could keep what he'd conquered of Lord Gailardia's family lands. That wouldn't happen, he knew. The Score was absolute, but he wished it wasn't. He was already Scored to be a great sinner, so it really wouldn't make him any worse off to add heresy to that. Yulia's Score would bring prosperity to mankind: it was selfish of him to not want to play his part in it.

Except even though Lord Gailardia would live, this wouldn't make _him _prosperous.

It was childish and selfish, but he didn't want to destroy Hod.

Not that what he or anyone else wanted mattered. He knew that.

So he'd sat there quietly as even the guards outside his cell left, since there was nothing to do but wait.

Then the fighting had grown nearer, and nearer, and he almost wanted to cheer for the Butcher, even though he'd killed Gailardia's family, because the fonologists, soldiers, and nobles here were all bad men who had done terrible things to so many of Hod's people.

And him, but he didn't count.

Eventually, the roar of battle and fonic artes died away, and he heard running steps coming down the stairs. "This way, right?" Van knew that accent: Kimlascan. Gailardia's mother spoke that way.

"Right?" someone else echoed the question. This person sounded strangely _happy_, but Van recognized a mask of happiness when he heard a voice that false... He was used to smiling too, for his lord.

"Y-yes sir." This speaker had a Binan accent: one of the soldiers, definitely. The fonologists here were all from the Capital or Sheridan.

"Thanks!" The first voice sounded cheerful too now, but a more honest cheer.

The files weren't kept in this area: this was where the test subjects had been held. Only Van was here now: the others were all dead already. The fonologists had started rushing their tests and stopped bringing in new people when they knew the deadline was looming.

Maybe they were here for him, then?

Probably just to capture Malkuth's weapon, but maybe they really would kill him?

For the first time since the fighting had started he let himself look up through the curtain of his unwashed dust-brown hair, _hoping_.

Closer, and closer, until one of them ran in front of his cell, looking from side to side. The red-haired teenager almost missed him in the gloom, or so it seemed, before he skidded to a halt, taking a closer look. A grin replaced his look of determined focus. "M-Van-I found him!" he called. "Yes!" he almost cheered as he knelt down by the lock, a golden glow forming in front of his hands.

His companion hurried over, another teenager a little younger than he was. "I got the key."

"I don't need it, remember?" The first person already had the lock off, swinging the door open and starting to do the same to Van's handcuffs.

Or trying to, at least. As much as Van wanted to die, he still tried to scramble back, to hide from that golden glow.

"Ma-" There was a flash of hurt in the Kimlascan's green eyes, but he noticed that Van's terror went away when the hyperresonance disappeared. "Maybe we should use the key."

The green-haired fonist (by process of elimination), knelt down where the redhead had been. "We're not going to hurt you. Come on." He showed Van the key. "Let me see your handcuffs."

"We're here to rescue you!" The redhead said happily.

Van blinked and would definitely have known this was a dream if the cuffs on his ankles weren't digging painfully into his flesh. "You shouldn't. It won't work. The Score…" No, he shouldn't reveal a Score of death, just in case these two didn't already know. The Order wouldn't kill him for it, but there were lots of things that could be done to people that wouldn't kill them.

He wondered if he'd gone insane. Either that or these people had.

"It'll work. Don't worry; I'll take care of you," the redhead's voice paused, "Van." What was supposed to be in that gap?

"Handcuffs?" The other one prompted again, and Van knew an order when he heard one. That was how people spoke to test subjects like him. Maybe this was the Jade Balfour he'd heard so much about? There weren't many fonists capable of taking on all the soldiers here. Van had heard he was very young to be so brilliant, but this person wasn't _that _much older than Van.

Or maybe he was just short?

He would normally have refused, not because it would have done any good but to _try_, even though they'd just hit him. His mother had scolded him for it, when he'd been returned for a court function the first time. Said that he was _trying _to make it more difficult for everyone to pretend that he wasn't a murderer, and as punishment, not only was she not going to heal him but he wasn't allowed to visit Lord Gailardia, in case that nice boy hugged him and the makeup came off.

There weren't going to be any more chances to see him, though, so there wasn't anymore reason to behave.

Still, maybe?

He found himself letting the stranger unlock his wrists. The redhead pulled him to his feet, "Alr-" and then they saw the chains on his ankles. "Ion, can you—"

"Right." He crouched down lower and got those too. "All set, Luke!"

"What did you do with the prisoner?" Luke asked as he pulled Van along.

"There wasn't a lot of time, so I hit him over the head until he stopped moving."

Luke's shoulders slumped. "I hope you didn't kill him too."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't able to use Daathic Fonic Artes before, and practically all of the combat artes I know are either lethal or really painful." Daathic Fonic Artes? That sounded about right. There was no greater crime than to endanger the life of the head of the Order. Either attackers had to be killed instantly, so there was no threat to the Fon Master, or they deserved to suffer before being executed in Mt. Zaleho.

That staff… it did look a lot like Fon Master Evenos' tuning fork thing, actually. "You guys are in so, so much trouble."

"They'll have to catch us first!" Just as Luke said that, Van's right ankle decided it had enough and he tripped and fell, biting his lip to not cry out. Luke managed to catch him, and then picked him up, grunting. "I wish I was taller…"

"I don't know how you got in, unless maybe you destroyed the doors, but even if they didn't already know that you were going to try to do this, Mother will read the Score and they'll find you!"

"This wasn't in your Score, and we aren't in anybody's score!"

Ion ran ahead to get the doors for Luke.

Wait, Van knew where they were going. "You can't! That's the Sephiroth that way!"

"I know! Just trust me!" Luke kept running.

"I knew it!" That this was too good to be true. "You're just going to… hyperresonance, and…!" Van tried to punch and kick at him, but he couldn't get loose. "You, it's not fair!" They'd pretended this was a rescue, maybe even the guards had been in on it, to make him! They'd made him think he had hope, like an idiot, and it was a good thing that he was very, very good at not crying.

"I wouldn't make you destroy Hod! I wouldn't do that to you, even…"

Van's mind completed that as, "even though you deserve it."

It made him shake, but they went right past that _evil_ machine and Van's eyes widened as Ion jumped into the core. "Oh." They really were going to kill him. Luke jumped instead of just throwing Van, and that just proved it. This was a suicide mission so that their families wouldn't be punished for defying the Order. "Thank you," he said, voice small and quiet, as he clung to Luke's coat now as they fell, feeling incredibly guilty that he'd fought someone like, like Gailardia. Someone who was really trying to help him.

He was good at not crying. It was strange to be not-crying because he was happy.

Luke laughed as they fell and fell. "This is fun, isn't it?"

Van started to smile. It, it kind of was. "It's taking a long time to hit the miasma, isn't it?" Oh no, could Lorelei be trying to protect him? "This won't work; the Core is where Lorelei is! You have to kill me before we get there."

What? "I'm not going to kill you. This is how we got in."

"You got in through one of the Sephiroth?" What? "And what do you mean you aren't going to kill me!" he snarled, knowing that his eyes were wet even though he'd promised himself he wasn't going to give them the satisfaction anymore.

"We came here to rescue you," Luke explained again, tilting his head and trying to understand where Van was coming from and how he'd gotten that idea. "I guess that does sound weird to you, huh. It would have sounded weird to me, if someone, Asch maybe, had said they were trying to save me. Actually, Asch _was _trying to kill me so that I wouldn't, not save me, now that I think about it."

"You can't. Yulia's Score was very specific. I'm going to destroy Hod."

"Yes I can. You know that replicas aren't in the Score, right?"

"You're replicas?" Replicas were empty things that sat there and drooled like babies or stood there and took orders like fontech, depending. They weren't like Luke or Ion.

Luke nodded. "Right. So the Score can't do anything about what we do. People can, though, so we'll have to stay out of sight and keep you away from that," he pointed at the sephiroth they were falling next to, "the day after tomorrow, and we'll be okay."

"Really?"

Ion, who had managed to slow down a bit using his robes so he could fall next to them nodded. "Really! Luke's really great at rescuing people."

"Not…"

"Really! I meant to die, and Luke still saved me. Even after I was dead!" Ion's mask smile seemed different now in a way that Van thought meant that it was real.

"Master is the best, mieu!" Another high-pitched voice agreed, coming from… Luke's bag?

Van had never seen a sacred cheagle, of course, but this had to be one. He didn't know if it was a boy or a girl cheagle, but it had blue fur like the sky that looked really soft.

"Should we go to Mt. Roneal or the Zao Ruins?" Luke asked them.

"They'd have to fight their way to Mt. Roneal. Even Jade said the monsters there were really difficult! They wouldn't risk bringing the real Fon Master there even if they guessed we escaped through the Sephiroth in the first place."

"Jade, Dr. Jade Balfour? Did he make you?" That would explain how there were replicas of such better quality than the supposed cutting-edge.

They looked at each other. "Actually…" Luke started.

Ion looked blank in a way that said not only did he not have a clue but it was entirely Luke's decision in the first place.

"Do you mind if I explain later?"

Van hesitated. He wanted to know what was going on, so that he knew if he could trust them, but if it really was inevitable, then he didn't want to find any holes in their story. He wanted to believe in this just a little longer, just until the day after tomorrow. "I guess that's ok."

"Ok, so Mt. Roneal. We'll have to stop by the Albiore to get the camping gear; it's really cold there, even in the Sephiroth."

Ion swam over a little closer to them, and Van finally noticed that the fall had sort of stopped but they were still floating. "Do we have enough for him, too?"

"Of course! I had to guess at his size, so I bought a few different sizes. Cold weather, desert…" Luke stopped listing things. "I thought about this, you know."

"You were even better than Anise at shopping."

"Yeah, because she's really just trying to not spend money and say she did." So she could pocket the difference. "So it wasn't hard." To get better at it than her. "I got food too, and different medicines as well as gels since Jade said they'd been doing all kinds of stuff to him to get him disoriented and lose control, but it looks like we got there in time, right? Are you ok?" Luke turned his head to try to look him over.

"I didn't eat my breakfast. They would have figured that out already if you hadn't come, though."

"That's a relief." Luke returned to looking around. "Do you see the Albiore anywhere, Ion?"

"Oh? Right, we can't just teleport there if he's scared of hyperresonance." Ion tried to look for it.

"What are you looking for?"

"My flying machine," Luke explained.

"Don't you mean Sheridan's?" Ion wondered.

"I was going to buy it, but they just gave it to me when I asked, because of the bridge."

"Bridge? What bridge?"

"Right, you weren't there for that. It's not going to happen now. Well, the bridge is a good idea, but not… It was a memorial."

"…Oh. I'm sorry."

"It's going to be ok." Luke nodded firmly. "I'll go get it, then. I can probably teleport to it."

"Teleport? With hyperresonance? You can't!" Van clung to him! "I wanted to, but it's not possible! A human can't put someone back together right at the other end! Yulia did it in the legends, but that was because she had the Key of Lorelei!"

"So I'll be fine. I've got the Key of Lorelei."

He did.

So Van stayed with Ion, waiting for Luke to come back. Ion didn't seem to want to talk to him, just answering Van's, "Um…" with that mask smile. So he was quiet like he'd been told to be and wished that Luke would come back soon.


	2. Keter

I'm going to be putting Van on the same general level as Ion, because while Van has more experience with people than Ion, most of it is not just wrong but _very _wrong on _so _many levels. Ion has no experience with nice people other than Luke: Van none other than Gailardia. They both idolize those people, and Luke _saved _Van while Gailardia was, as Van seems to think even in-game, only nice because he didn't know. Luke did know, and not only didn't hate him but _saved _him and said they were all wrong.

Luke ending up Van's Van-figure is wonderfully ironic and cute.

* * *

It was like being on a camping trip with Gailardia, only without a cordon of guards all around to make sure no monsters got anywhere near the heir and his companions. Luke had brought books, too, and they all ended up reading after dinner the first night, but in the morning Luke woke Van up to say that he was going to be fighting monsters with Ion since Ion needed to train.

Van nodded when Luke asked if he wanted to come.

He wasn't strong enough to handle the monsters, but Luke said that was ok and they could spar afterwards.

Luke laughed when Van started trying to practice forms, which started to make him angry until he realized that Luke wasn't laughing at him. He hadn't been allowed to practice for a few months now. He'd barely been able to move for a few weeks now: they weren't taking any chances he might try to do the dishonorable thing and escape his destined crime. "I'm going to be teaching you? That's…" Luke's smile was a strange one, far away sadness mixed with laughter and growing delight. As though this was perfect somehow. Like freedom was for Van, an impossible dream that might be coming true. "I'd love to."

The way Luke spoke when he positioned Van and told him what blows to use and so on didn't sound like Luke, more like he was quoting someone. His own teacher? "Do you like teaching?"

"I think I do," Luke told him. "I've never gotten to before; everyone was always trying to teach me. But I want to help you and Ion get stronger, so if anything happens you'll be ok." He smiled sheepishly. "And it's really great to be the person who knows the most for once. I hope I'm not being arrogant again."

"No. You're the best teacher I've had. You're very considerate, you always have been," Ion told Luke.

Van nodded in agreement. "I know I'm out of practice and my muscles are all out of condition and…" Luke hadn't even hit him yet! "You're a very nice teacher… Master Luke?" Could he call him that?

Luke tried to hide his feelings, embarrassed, but a moment of that impossible happiness shone through. "Thanks. That means a lot." He smiled in Van's direction, but in that moment it didn't seem as though he was smiling at _Van_. It was weird, but Luke wasn't angry at him for saying weird things so he didn't really care.

The light didn't change, not this deep, and even if it had the time zones would have meant that it wasn't the same as Hod. He kept waking up, rubbing his eyes and yawning, not realizing that he'd gone to sleep when he'd meant to lie down for a bit so Ion could have a turn. It made sense that he'd be tired, between the cold, the training, and the fact he hadn't been able to sleep properly for what felt like a long time, but it was still embarrassing to take naps like a little kid.

Luke slept all sprawled out, blankets pushed everywhere, Thing on a nearby pillow if he was asleep too. Ion slept like a log, unmoving, face up and arms and legs pulled in. Van sometimes woke up to find he'd rolled closer to him in his sleep, for the warmth. Sometimes he woke up curled around Thing instead. Luke kicked in his sleep sometimes, and he'd felt terrible about doing that to Ion, so they left him alone.

It began to feel like a really long time that they'd been there, and maybe they'd even be there forever?

If every time Van woke up had really been a new day, then they would have had months of that peace.

In reality, it was only a couple of weeks before Van and Luke were woken by an earthquake strong enough to shake the mountain and all the fonons in the sephiroth went crazy.

Van didn't need to wait for Luke to command the passage ring to find out what was going on.

He already knew Hod had fallen.

But he hadn't done it, not unless he'd somehow been teleported there by Lorelei in his sleep, and that was just silly, right?

Ion had been up reading one of the Star of Malkuth books, and he said Van hadn't gone anywhere.

When Van turned around, Luke had started clutching his head in pain, and Ion said that was because he was talking to Lorelei, and Lorelei was in pain so Luke always hurt when he talked to Lorelei or was nearby when the Score was read.

From what Van knew about hyperresonance and the Score, that meant scary things. So he was behind Ion when Luke stood up again. "They used your parents, Van. I'm sorry."

His fists clenched, and a strange kind of anger rose inside of him, one he didn't think he'd ever let himself feel before. "Good."

"Good?" Ion asked.

"They always said… because I was going to, and… And they're the ones who did it. I bet they went to go do it willingly, even, because of the Score. I bet they, they said I was bad for not doing it and making them even though they said I was bad for, for…"

Luke hugged him.

For a moment, he stood shock-still, not knowing how to deal with this, but slowly his arms crept up to hold Luke there. To hug him back so he wouldn't go away. Luke tucked him safe against his body and Vandesdelca Musto Fende, the One Who Would Seize Glory, the Destroyer of Hod, cried.

He'd learned to hide the pain of hatred and contempt very young. How could someone be hurt by an insult if it was true? To a child, if their parents said it, then it had to be true.

He'd built walls around his heart to defend against Gailardia's innocence, his Mother's complaints, his Father's scorn, the test subjects' screams, pleas and angry demands, hatred, fear, contempt, revulsion, and so many more, but this was the first time he had experienced sympathy.

How did you hide your pain from someone who already felt it?

"I should have come earlier, I should have, I could have come two years ago but I didn't want there to be time for the Order to figure out a way around me. You said- People don't know any better, they would have tried to _make _the score come true, and I didn't want to risk not being able to save you, but I didn't think, and it was worse than the Manor, wasn't it…" Luke's words were just a haze to Van, but a comforting one. Someone felt guilty on his behalf? Someone felt sad because he had suffered?

Someone was crying for him?

After the destruction of Hod, whatever problem Ion had with Van seemed to go away. Van had thought people would despise him for being weak because he'd let himself get angry and then cried, but Ion seemed to understand him better and like him more now.

He liked it here. With them. He didn't ask Luke for that explanation, nor did he ask what would happen next, because he still didn't want an answer. If there was no answer, then they could just stay here forever.

Luke and Ion went away for a day and came back with big white furs from the monsters on the plains to the northwest, fish, and meat, but a little after that, while he was lying there drowsing, he heard Luke talking to Ion about needing to go shopping soon. He tried to eat less after that, so they wouldn't go where people might realize and catch them.

He also tried setting up some of the traps in the books, with Ion's help, to catch things. Maybe even people, if any came.

So Van would have said it was ironic that he was the one who got caught if he used words like that. Ion was the one with the big vocabulary, because of programming. Luke knew a lot of words, from books, but he'd learned not to use them because sometimes he hadn't guessed what they meant right or there was a weird rule about using them he didn't know and then people laughed.

Van had been out checking the traps. One of the ones that had logs that fell down and trapped monsters in a log enclosure had gotten triggered. When he went to go check it, he found himself hanging upside-down from one of the ice walls lining the game trail. Trails got carved deep here. "Ion!" he'd called, kind of annoyed, because Ion was supposed to let him know when he set new traps. Unless this was training, in which case Ion would definitely be nearby to let him down. "Ion?" He was there, right? Or maybe he'd thought he'd told Van, but Van had been too sleepy to really hear and just nodded so Ion would go away and let him sleep? Or maybe he'd made Ion mad somehow… "Ion…?"

"My my my." That… wasn't Ion's voice. "I'd ask what tourist thought he could out-trap a native, but you aren't a tourist, are you?"

Practically all the people of Hod and Yulia City were seventh fonists, or would be if they ever bothered training. Most of Daath at least had the potential, however weak. When two seventh fonists were near each other there was always a resonance, if not a hyperresonance, that a strong fonist could detect, and Van was the strongest living seventh fonist now except for his little sister. And maybe Luke: Ion was 'only' at a Fon Master's level.

The first large group of non-seventh fonists Van had met had been the soldiers and fonologists. He didn't like them. They felt empty somehow, dead inside. No souls to travel on to the fon belt, just walking pieces of dirt that would go back to being dirt: that was what people in Yulia City said. The person behind him sounded as cold as the snow all around, and the accent didn't help.

Nor did the red eyes that Van saw when the man spun him around, callously examining him. It felt like being a test subject again.

"I'd congratulate myself on being right, but then if I did that every single time it would get boring rather quickly. If I want something tedious, that's what Saphir's for. There were a few ways in, but only one way out of that lab. Well, not unless there had been enough time to dig a tunnel, and if Saphir wouldn't even try then there's no one else who could have managed it. And Lorelei would not permit a heir of Yulia to perish in the core, and while Lorelei's existence is theoretical, how else could someone have appeared out of a planetary fon slot?"

Those terrifyingly cold eyes narrowed, before removing Van's glove and pinching his nose to shove it into his mouth, a well-practiced move the researchers had used to give him drugs. "Can't have you singing any hymns, after all. This _does_ present a problem. The ports are being watched, and it simply wouldn't do to share a hiding place, especially not when the Order practically ordered us to go into hiding. A messenger sent to find us might stumble over you, especially if you're foolish enough to be wandering around loose and think that brushing some snow over them is enough to hide your tracks. You may not be here for pleasure, but you're as ignorant as a tourist. Hmm, what to do with you… Why couldn't you have taken the intelligent option and chosen a less dangerous sephiroth? Of course, dangerous means dangerous to the Order as well."

The Order? "Let me go! Let me go or I'll, I'll… Luke!" he yelled, although nothing but mumbling made it past the gag.

Still, it was enough to wake someone inside the trap-turned-shelter. "Jaaaade, are you experimenting without me?"

"Go back to sleep, Saphir," Jade called, and muttered to himself, "Why did I have to bring along this loudmouthed fool? If anything, he'd have killed the royal family off faster."

He was worse than ignored: Two people instead of one came from the shelter. One of them had silver hair, the snow-hair that was almost unique to Keterburg, and the other had long blond hair, mimicking the old native style the fonologist wore, except the blond wasn't metallic enough to be native. Soft gold hair meant Malkuth nobility, like Gailardia, in the same way true red hair meant Kimlascan and maroon meant Belkendian. The dukes of Belkend had once had purple hair and Hod pink, according to Pere, but so many marriages had changed that over the centuries.

Luke's hair was a red-gold that was kind of pretty, like a sunrise. It would have made him very hard to place if it weren't for his accent, which was Baticul overlaid with bits and pieces from everywhere else.

Luke had traveled a lot, before, according to Ion, which made Van feel a little bad about wanting him to stay in one place. Except this place wasn't safe anymore.

"He's way too small: you should probably throw him back," the blond suggested, trying to pretend that he was entirely laid back about the whole thing, but unable to hide a trace of worry that the fonologists wouldn't.

"It appears that I wasn't the only to think Mt. Roneal made a marvelous natural fortress." Jaaaaade said.

Wait, _Jade_? Dr. Jade Balfour?

Van almost screeched behind the gag and began seriously trying to kick and struggle loose.

Saphir sniffed. "What idiot tourist would let a small child wander around alone _here_?"

"Are you saying that you consider Professor Nebilim an idiot tourist?" Jade's voice was as cold and sharp as the edge of the spear he'd drawn and used to cut the rope, sending Van dropping to the ground but not removing the noose's grip on his legs. It appeared that his weight and the motion had turned it into a rather tight knot.

"Of-Of course not!" Saphir backpedaled.

"The boy's far from defenseless." Jade hauled Van up by the back of his neck, pulled back his hood, and brushed some of his hair over his face. "Look familiar?"

The blond's eyes widened. "The kid you were trying to break out?"

"It appears he managed it on his own. Or with Lorelei's assistance, which is why I took the precaution of gagging him."

"Jade? Stop that, stop that right now! Let the boy go!" Everyone's heads turned back to the trap: with the 'door' left open it looked as though they'd dug it farther back into the ice. Van didn't really have time to notice that, though, since he was grabbed by a young woman around Luke's age. "Honestly!" She glared up at Jade, pulling hard enough to drag Van away even though Jade had let go when she demanded it. "My brother didn't hurt you, did he? Sit down; I'll get that rope off."

"I wasn't going to dissect him, Nephry. Although he would make a very interesting specimen, there's little that hasn't already been done with him. Except an autopsy, and the work _was _done by incompetent fools…"

"Jade? Knock it off," the blond ordered, still sounding laid-back but with a hint of a backbone showing through.

"Is that an order, your impending Imperial Highness?" Jade made a somewhat miffed sound. "Do as you like, but don't blame me if he kills any of you trying to escape."

As he stalked off Saphir called, "Jade! Wait!" and ran after him, somehow giving the impression of scrambling even though he was far more graceful on the ice than Van was, or even Luke.

Peony laughed quietly. "Need help with that knot, Nephry?"

"No, I'm good at untying my brother's knots," she said bitterly. "He wasn't gone long enough for me to have a chance to forget."

Peony sighed. "Nephry…"

"Dragging me along on this camping trip: we all know no one's going to come after me to get to him. It's not like Jade _Curtiss_ ever cared about anyone, and what does Nephry Balfour have to do with him?"

"Nephry. You don't know my family." Peony's face was bleak. "I can't tell you everything, or else the Order will be trying to kill you too, but this kid here? He was tortured."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Jade refused to have anything to do with it. He didn't need to get adopted to get a high research position: he did it so that he could have the protection of the military families. Like the Fringses. They're good people, there are are things they won't stand for, and even my father couldn't push them too far with war on the horizon. Jade's… he's gotten a lot better over the years. He's barely ever cruel just to be cruel anymore. Except for Saphir." Peony looked in the direction they'd gone. "I wonder if saying it's Jade's way of flirting would embarrass him into knocking it off?"

"Except for that he never pays any attention to Saphir. Leave them alone, Peony." She finally got the knot undone. Looking up at Van's face, she asked, "It's ok, you don't have to be scared any-honestly!" She ripped the glove out of Van's mouth. "Jaaaaade!" While Saphir had said it pleadingly, Nephry almost hissed it with righteous fury. "That is _it_!" She started to run after the two of them, easily leaping from one place there was traction to another.

"I still can't do that," Peony said, watching her admiringly. Van was too young to notice that he wasn't just admiring her ice-running form but her physical form.

Then Peony turned to him, face bleak. "I don't think I can apologize enough."

"I'm ok." That hadn't really been anything. "You'll all be sorry, though." Luke and Ion would find him, and then!

"Not for that, that was Jade being Jade. For what my family did. They're all dying, if it's any consolation." Peony sat down with a grace that made it look like lounging but it was clearly to put himself on Van's level. "That's why we're out here. The Order blamed your escape on the deviations caused by replicas, and they don't want it to spread. Early on, everyone in the 'real' Imperial family had their replica data extracted, so that if they started dying a replacement body could be made. That was half, well, a third of the whole point of what happened to Hod." The other thirds being an army of disposable soldiers and compliance with the Score.

"They just found out that they're dying because of it, and replica research isn't far enough along. My legitimate older half-brothers are _not _happy that I'm going to end up with the throne, and what you pulled off has been giving people ideas. Fon Master Evenos told Jade to come back here, grab me, and get out of town, since apparently a few people are going to try to get their hands on Jade even though he swore off making replicas, Nephry and Saphir so they have some leverage on him, and me so that they can slit my throat and convince the Order to let them live so they can rule in my place."

Ironic, huh? "So it's probably not a good idea to just wander around here, even if you can handle the monsters. Any troops that get this far are going to be ones that can handle the monsters too, although since… that, there aren't that many soldiers who really know how to deal with the weather around here left. She, uh… Never mind."

Van didn't know what to think about that. On the one hand, he wanted the Imperial Family to die for what they had done to Hod, but on the other hand he liked the idea of people not dying when the Score said they would and kind of wanted them to win.

"You aren't going to stay on the mountain, are you?" he settled for asking.

Peony shook his head. "Nah, we're heading for this cave our teacher gave Jade the map to before… Um."

"I know about Professor Nebilim. She became a really powerful killing machine and they can't figure out how he did that." Though they'd killed hundreds trying.

Peony shrugged. "Jade. He wasn't trying to make a replacement: he was trying to make a resurrection arte that didn't need the seventh fonon." Well, there was more to it than that. "He would have wanted to make her strong, since he couldn't replicate her with the seventh fonon. He was trying to become a seventh fonist, like her and even if the resurrection had worked, he wouldn't have been able to rebuild her with the seventh fonon as part of her. So they both would have ended up non-seventh fonists."

"That sounds nice." No more seventh fonon, no more ability to create hyperresonance. "Is the cave really far away?"

"Yeah. Getting there will give us something to do until they croak, although Nephry isn't happy. We didn't even get time to- well hello there."

Van recognized the weight on his head, but it was still a relief to look up and see Thing there.

"You're a cute little thing, aren't you? Where did you come from?" And what was he doing wearing something obviously manmade? "Is he your pet?"

"No, I'm Master's friend," Thing said happily, bouncing on Van's head once and landing in his arms when Van held them out. "Master asked me to go find Van, and I did all by myself!"

"They aren't coming?"

"They are, but Jade is being scary." Jade ate cheagles, he'd said so himself! "I thought Miss Nephry was nice… mieeeu…" His ears drooped. She'd nearly gotten him with a skinning knife when he'd gone to say hello.

"She's nice, but just as scary as her brother if you get on her bad side," Peony agreed. "What's your name? I've never met a talking monster before."

"I'm a cheagle, Mieu! I can talk because of the Sorcerer's ring, and my Master gave me a really good name, Thing!"

Peony heard that as 'namething.' "Mieu, huh?" He scratched Mieu behind one of his big ears.

"Thing…" Stop fraternizing with the enemy!

"It's ok; Mister Peony is really nice, even to monsters! His rappigs all like him a lot." Mieu spoke monster languages too, since he had the ring.

"Rappigs?" Huh? Peony would have asked if Mieu was talking about someone else, but how many blond men named Peony were out there? Especially since, on top of being a pretty embarrassing name by Keterberg standards (where flowers died very, very quickly), it was the _imperial_ flower. His mother naming him that had been one more fuck you, or rather, no longer fucking you, to the Emperor who had promised her full favored concubine status and failed to follow through.

Nobility used flower names, and no noble was going to name their son Peony. It would be as good as naming one, 'Hey, Emperor! I'm Going to Overthrow You and Put my Family on the Throne!'

Peony hadn't seen his mother in years, and something told him he probably didn't want ask what happened to her, even though he'd have access to those records after taking the throne.

He should probably check, though, just to make sure she hadn't been put in some deep, dark prison instead of executed. Of course, the prisoners who didn't exist had been the first test subjects, before they'd been told about Hod and given carte blanche to do whatever they wanted there as long as the public and the local duke didn't find out.


	3. Chokmah

& here's where I was going to initially end it. This could turn into an epic long drawn-out AU that goes into all the details, but I think, like Nebulae, I thought I'd leave it at the point where things would work out. I won't mark it complete just yet, since I have about 500 words of a potential next chapter, but don't be surprised if that doesn't turn into more than a little epilogue thing.

To people who are wondering about the title: Koheleth is the Hebrew word Ecclesiastes is derived from. Ecclesiastes 3 has been made famous by the song by Pete Seeger (A time to be born, a time to die, etc.), but the _full_ thing, instead of just those lines from the beginning, is very relevant to the Score. If you're interested enough to google it, I suggest reading a version other than the King James, though: the antique syntax there makes it hard to tell what is referring to what sometimes, and obscured the meaning of a couple of the most appropriate passages. Looking at a site of line-by-line comparisons of different translations that I found while trying to pick a title, the New International Version seems pretty good for comprehension purposes, although I'd take any translation of that book with a grain of salt, and keep in mind that the thing requires more annotations than Shakespeare (what with being several times as old and hence full of obscure references), just for the proper historical context & symbolism. I wasn't looking at a print copy of the translation, so I don't know what its annotations are like.

* * *

"Van!"

Van looked up, overjoyed, to see Luke more-than-half-slide down the slope the others had run up, barely managing to avoid falling over. Peony standing up in time to steady him at the end helped. "Wha-You're here too?"

"Too?" Peony supposed he had better get used to people recognizing him, but it was still strange. He'd only been able to sneak out in the first place, all those years ago, because barely anyone had known there was a spare bastard. He'd been 'the boy with the flower name. Who does that to their kid? Yeesh. Tourists.' A lot of people had guessed that his parents had to hate him, but that had been it. He'd been able to wander all over, attend classes with the others, and go on dates with Nephry only because no one recognized him.

"Um, I mean, you aren't Emperor yet. Right. Is this a camping trip?"

"Not exactly, although running for our lives_ is_ a good excuse to have one."

Luke laughed. "Yeah, that's what we're up to."

"So you're the Kimlascan that rescued this kid?" Peony waved a hand at Van. "Thank you. I'll give you a medal or something. Order won't like it, but I'll probably have done a lot of other things they won't be happy about by then."

"Yeah," Luke agreed, carefully. "About that… um…"

"Luke!" Ion waved from the top of the slope before sliding down, two people and one people-bundle following him.

"…When did you get a chance to practice _that?" _Luke asked, watching a blank-eyed Saphir pull Jade along.

"It was the one… _he _was most interested in. He had us all try it. Sync used it, remember?"

"Ion, I know you want to help, but…" Sometimes Luke kind of worried that by letting Ion use a fon master's powers he'd created a monster. Luke had good reason not to like the Curse Slot, after Sync had used it to make Guy attack him. Guy hadn't said what that had been like, but Asch had possessed Luke's body and forced him to watch as he attacked Tear once, in Chesedonia, and Luke didn't want anyone to _ever _have to go through something like that again.

Ion just smiled. "Well, otherwise we probably would have had to kill him."

"Jade's not…"

"He was always a lot nicer to us than he was to everyone else, you know that, right?"

"He was nice to me?"

"If you weren't a replica, he probably would have poisoned you," Ion said cheerfully. "Fatally, I mean. He poisoned all of you in low doses a lot." Fon Masters, even replicas, had to be able to detect that. "Although some of that was probably Guy. And…" They'd done things Mohs wouldn't want them to, quite often. But Ion still couldn't say Anise's name, not in the context of... What she had done.

"That was for real?" Luke stared at Ion. He'd thought Jade was joking!

"Nephry?" Are you okay?

She ran to Peony's arms after a glance at Ion. "He came out nowhere, touched Saphir's arm and said that if we didn't surrender he'd make Saphir kill himself! Jade tried to attack, but it barely fazed him," she said, fast and quiet. "He took my knives."

And without weapons, if they managed to escape they were dead.

"Couldn't you just have talked to them?" Luke tried again.

"Well, they thought I was from the Order, and Jade attacked right away. I should probably find another staff," even if the Fon Master's emblem was incredibly powerful. Ion sighed regretfully.

Ion had been powerless for so long that he really just adored having power.

Take everything away from someone, render them powerless, and that made them a desperate man with nothing to lose. Without any powerful weapons, then in order to strike back they were forced to learn how to be utterly vicious with what they did have. Ion had spent his entire life as a pawn, with his only options, the only choice he had, to obey or die. And so he had learned to use that slight power, that choice of who to obey, how to avoid being killed, like the smallest of levers to tip the balance, the smallest and most deadly poison in the veins of the huge behemoth that was Mohs and Van's Order.

In the end, he'd calmly traded his very life away, to find a way for Luke to ruin all their plans and to find happiness.

Now, he had power. The power of a Fon Master, the most powerful man in the world for two thousand years. But all of his habits were how to strike, how to deal damage, with that small amount of power. Now, instead of a needle he wielded a sword, instead of the quiet power of words and wordless resistance he had a power that could crush armies.

He hadn't realized the difference yet, that he needed to use far less power, far less viciousness now to do the same amount of damage. What he _had _realized was that he really, _really, _enjoyed this.

He was the Fon Master's replica, raised in that same poisonous atmosphere of Daath, in a den of serpents that was lying to the world and slowly dragging it down into death. Both had known that their days were numbered.

Blood, environment, or teachings: by all of them, Ion and his Original were very much alike.

"Can't we just tell them the truth and apologize?"

"If that's what you want, Luke," Ion said, because that was what it came down to.

Well, not when it came to killing people. Because Luke really hated that, so Ion would just have to take care of it for him so that Luke wouldn't be sad. Ion didn't mind killing people.

Not. At. All.

Ion had been raised to believe that human life was worthless, after all, and had quite calmly sacraficed even his own.

"Sorry about this," Luke apologized to Peony and Nephry. "Ion's just not really used to fighting. He doesn't understand all the rules yet." Not that Luke liked the rules either, but they kind of had the opposite problem with them. "Um, we're staying inside the Sephiroth, and it's not as wet there? The fire should still be burning… Hey, Thing!"

"Yes, Master?" Thing hopped to attention.

"Go make sure the fire's still burning, ok?"

"Right, I'll get everything nice and warm, mieu!" The cheagle flew off, up the side of the mountain.

"That's probably not the best idea. We're in hiding too, so it might be better if we just went our separate ways and claimed we didn't see each other. I'd really appreciate it," Peony attempted to argue without actually seeming too argumentative, since the green-haired kid was smiling in a way that rang whole carillons of warning bells in the head of anyone who had ever seen Jade in a mood.

Luke looked at Ion and Van. "I don't know: what do you guys think?"

"That's Dr. Balfour. He invented fomicry. We shouldn't just let him go."

"I agree." Ion nodded. "It would make everything a lot easier, wouldn't it?"

"We can't just keep him. He'd really try to kill us then, you know how he feels about his sister and Peony."

"We just have to tell him the truth: that they'll all die unless he helps us."

"Well, that is the truth, but we probably shouldn't put it that way." Luke didn't know much about how normal people heard things, but that sounded like a threat to him. "He might think that _we're _doing it."

"Excuse me, but really, my brother would be happier if he didn't have to deal with us," Nephry told them.

"That's not true at all." Luke almost glared at her, which Van thought looked really strange on him.

Ion nodded agreement. "He created fomicry because he loves you and didn't want you to cry, and replication because he loved Professor Nebilim and wanted to save her life. Even the accident was because he wanted to be like her and didn't know how to say that he liked her."

"He scolds all of you, even Dist, and he doesn't scold people unless he likes them," Luke knew. "it's too much work to try to change people who he doesn't like."

"Dist?" Who was Dist? Nephry looked at Peony, pretty sure now that these kids weren't all there.

"I mean Saphir. It's a long story."

"Oh!" Ion realized something. "If Saphir doesn't join the God-Generals, what about Anise?" She had only been able to manage the scorn of the others she'd been promoted over because she'd had a powerful weapon and taught them not to mess with her. Ion had admired Anise for that.

"I thought we'd hire her ourselves. Jade should stay with Peony, and I don't know what Guy will want to do, but we shouldn't leave Tear alone down there. They were awful to her even with Van there to protect her."

Van tugged on Luke's coat. "Mystearica and Gailardia?"

"They'll be ok. They definitely survived, and when things have calmed down a little we'll take you to see them, ok? Or the other way around," Luke assured him. Turning back to Ion, he added, "And we already decided to leave Natalia and Asch there."

"Oh, right. Should we be taking about this with them here, if you haven't decided what to do yet?"

"Right… Look, why don't all of you come with us to the Sephiroth? We can lock it from the inside."

Ion nodded. "No one can unlock that seal except me. Fon Master Evenos is dying and the original Fon Master Ion is only an infant."

The thought of being able to crush his original's helpless body the way he'd callously killed one of Ion's brothers in a fit of pique made Ion smile for real almost as much as Luke's kindness did.

"…I hope that's another accidental threat," Peony told them, looking at Nephry. "Well, we might as well accept your invitation." It wasn't like they had any other options.

* * *

Jade didn't glance at the clock as he worked on the test. Even if the Professor had given him a special test today, because he was her best student and far ahead of everyone else –

_A faint blush colored his cheeks now, as when she'd patted him on the head as no one had dared since he was very young. _

_-_there was surely enough time to finish it, and he wanted to answer every question the best he could, so she would be impressed with how hard he'd studied. He hoped she liked the apple: he'd needed to save up and plan carefully to get it, since fruit was so expensive here and delivered to the tourist areas first, where it was hard for a native student boy to get in unless he said he was a messenger on an errand for some noble.

_She'd thanked him for the thought, and complimented him for knowing that giving apples to teachers was a custom in the Empire proper, where they were grown. He hadn't noticed his cheeks heating up, but she had, and had smiled at him. _

The apple was unbruised, wonder of wonders, and he could almost smell it from here.

_The sound of people walking outside, chairs scraping on the floor and pens on paper in his memory blended in with everyone's chatter and Luke's attempt to cook, outside this tent. _

He wanted to answer every question as thoroughly as he could, but she had come up with really hard ones (just for him). If he was one of the others he'd be chewing on his pen, but he didn't look at the clock. He wanted to focus, answer thoroughly and right, so she would be proud of her student.

_A blonde head looking down at him with kind eyes hiding calculation merged all too easily with a green one. _

He was going to grow up quickly and marry Professor Nebilim someday, Jade knew.

_Jade was going to make up for creating replicas this time, by helping Luke with everything he had, Ion knew. _

It wasn't hard to use a curse slot to make someone think that they were living memories they desperately wanted to relive. All this took was a little suggestion, to change the exam questions.

Just as all it had taken Van was a little suggestion and the sound of a voice Luke loved to place the innocent, trusting boy in an utterly vulnerable state.

And to destroy Akzeriuth.

It was hard to forget that. Luke certainly couldn't, not after all this time. Luke had nightmares.

Ion was going to do something about that, even though this Van wasn't someone he should take vengeance on. This Van was like them.

He liked Jade, Jade had a lot in common with them, but Jade didn't realize what it was to be broken, not yet. Luke may want to be nice, but Ion would make sure that Jade knew everything. What would happen to Peony, what would happen to the world, what _had _happened because of him, and that he had better help them make it right, like Van surely would.

Or else Ion would have to make him.

* * *

"I marry someone else?" Nephry wanted to be outraged, she wanted it like _anything_, but she knew the tyranny of the Score.

What she wanted, what any of them wanted, wouldn't matter in the least.

Luke nodded. "He died before we met him, though. Di-um, Saphir went to work for Van in Daath, to help him overthrow the Score, and Jade stayed with Peony." And 'with' Peony, according to Guy, but Luke wasn't going to bring that up in front of Peony and Jade's sister, not when they were together. The Jade in his time had been willing to help and part of the understanding had been that Peony and Nephry would be reunited before it was too late, so hopefully he wouldn't have his heart broken?

If the idea of Peony and Nephry broke it, then it already would have been broken, here. It was hard to tell with Jade.

"He didn't come with me?" Saphir asked, then looked down. No, he knew Jade wouldn't, as sad as it made him.

Luke thought for a minute. "Well, Jade asked Ion, I mean our Jade, the Jade we knew, asked Ion to do something about… stuff." Would Jade have included Dist in whatever mysterious thing he'd told Ion to do to get his younger self to act differently?

Probably. Jade acted like he didn't like Dist at all, but they were closer than Luke and Asch had been.

"It's a good sign that they sent you out here, it means that there's more belief that people's lives actually could not go the way they're meant to because of replicas. So they'll be really determined to at least be able to think that things are going on track. I don't know what we're going to do about Van, if we sent him back they'd interrogate him," Luke knew what torture was, he'd read about it in adventure books, "so we could really use someone in the god-generals."

Since he was telling people the truth, Luke finally was forced to admit that it was unfair not to tell Van _something _at least. Luke would probably let bits and pieces slip eventually, and he wouldn't want Van to think (again) that Luke thought he was a monster.

The way he'd looked when they'd rescued him…

Like just after Akzeriuth.

_Years_ of just after Akzeriuth.

Poor, poor Master Van.

He'd never been able to hate Master Van, and now he was glad he hadn't. Master Van had been… hurt, and doing the best he knew. The Score had to be stopped, anyway.

"So you came all the way back to save me?"

"And Hod, and a bunch of other people. I'm sorry I couldn't save Hod. I'll try to do better."

"It was their fault. The order, and the fonologists, and my parents. You should have killed them all the way Ion did."

"Ion did what?"

"…Nothing…"

"You and Ion are really getting along now, aren't you?" Luke was glad, but they were kind of scaring him.

Van nodded.

"That's good, I guess… Um, Van, you know how I was surprised when you called me Master Luke? You were my teacher before. You trained me, and you even had me made." So were they family? He'd dreamed of Van saying that.

"I… made you to come back?" To save him?

"Not exactly. You made me to help you destroy the Score."

"Did it work?" It must not have, huh, or Luke wouldn't have come back.

"It did, but you died, and I wanted to save you. So I came back."

"You risked changing things and letting the Score win this time for me?" Van looked like he wanted to be angry, but he was busy not crying. So he defaulted to anger because he was touched or happy (and didn't understand it, and it was confusing) the way Luke had, before. "You shouldn't have! What if, what if everybody dies? _The Score says everybody dies!" _

His parents had said he was lying when he said that, and refused to read the Seventh Fonstone for themselves since _they _had faith, unlike horrible lying murderers.

Luke hugged him, wonderful Luke who wasn't like anyone else at all, and Van stilled. "I know," Luke said. "I know. I won't let everyone die. I'll prevent Akzeriuth this time even if I have to kidnap Asch too, you'll see. And every seventh fonist they send to the city, since they'll probably try to use Tear as the back-up, since she has the same power as you and they were going to use you to destroy Hod."

"Mystearica?" No, they couldn't!

"I won't let them hurt Tear. Or you. Not anymore. Jade's going to help us plan, and Peony and Saphir too. Nephry's also pretty smart." It had taken a lot of convincing to get her to see that the Score could be opposed, though. Luke squeezed Van. "I'll take care of you, like you took care of me for a long time."

"Thank you." Van knew it would be alright, because Luke had said so and he trusted Luke.

"Thank you," was Luke's response as he held him. It was still amazing that Master Van was smaller than he was.

When Luke was physically the age Van was now, Van had towered over him. The roof of the world, who had been strong enough to lift him up. To carry him out of there the way he had rescued Luke from the kidnappers.

Now Luke was everything to Van that he had dreamed Van was to him, and that was worth anything, everything.


	4. Nezach

_The sephiroth in Akzeriuth was Nezach, which signifies 'triumph without regrets,' among other meanings, as a fic with that name points out. The destruction of triumph without regrets destroying Luke's belief that he could be a hero, that the world could be saved is a symbolic ow in a scene that already had scads of them._

_In the canon timeline, Luke saved the world, but boy were there ever regrets. The theme of this fic is preventing the destruction of Akzeriuth. Allowing the world to be saved without sacrifices, allowing Luke to live without regrets._

_However, the events of the games, and the lives of the characters before the games, were twisted and perhaps even designed to scar them. Although Peony is a character that I often refer to as Auldrant's token decent human being, even he is a product of that environment._

_I don't meant to bash Nephry in this chapter. I do mean to bash the sense of moral superiority and entitlement that she is used as a symbol of and Tear is reduced to after she loses all her character development and good qualities after Akzeriuth._

_I really do need to write a fixit fic where Tear stayed the same person and continued her character development arc after Akzeriuth. Whatever happened to the character who apologized for not taking Luke's limitations into account and misjudging him? Whatever happened to the character who was able to admit to herself that her brother was a villain? And it was Tear that Asch attacked when he possessed Luke for kicks in Chesedonia. I would love to see Tear go medieval on him in Yulia City, the way she totally would have if her character hadn't been butchered. I shipped them up until that point! And I'd still ship them in that fic, because she would have been so good for him._

_Ok, rant over, time to let the characters rant. This is being posted now, despite being in my documents folder unfinished forever, because I told myself that for every project I started or random oneshot I wrote, I had to finish two of the unfinished projects taking up space in my documents folder, btw. This is half of the payment for a certain Star Ocean oneshot._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of the Abyss, Namco Bandai and other rightful owners do, no infringement intended or money made, please don't sue._

* * *

Luckily, Luke had brought along books on how to take care of an infant.

Still, now that Mystearica had been rescued from Grandfather, being around her put Vandesdelca in a state of constant, low-level panic.

His parents would _never _have let him near her this much. What if he dropped her? What if he contaminated her? What if the milk was too hot for her even though he'd tested it on his arm to make sure it didn't burn?

Luke and Ion had gone to rescue her not long after Jade and the others had arrived. "We didn't go before because we didn't want to leave you alone," Luke had explained. "But Jade's strong, and the others will keep an eye on you, too."

"Jade's a fonologist, and so's Saphir." You're leaving me here all alone with fonologists? Van wanted to cling to Luke, but bitter experience had taught him not to beg or plead, that no one would give him sympathy for not wanting to be handed over to be experimented on.

But… this was Luke. So he swallowed and dared, even though he really didn't want Luke to hit him. "What if they…"

"He won't experiment on you," Ion chirped happily. "Nephry won't let him. So just stick close to her, ok?"

"Ion!" Luke scolded, hugging Van to comfort him. "You're the one who said that this Jade knows better now too. Don't scare Van like that!"

"Sorry." Ion wasn't really, Van knew, but Ion hadn't really meant to frighten him so Van didn't mind. "We're taking the Albiore, so it will just be a couple of days."

"You're just going to rescue Mystearica?" Van wondered… "Yulia City is on a sort-of-sephiroth that only reaches to the Quiphoth. You have hyperresonance, so… Maybe you can close the Yulia Road and trap them there?"

"Van…" Luke didn't know what to say. "It's not nice to…"

"They don't care about the lives of anyone up here. We're just animals to them. Since the Score says that we all die, if it looks like people are going to try to live they'll come up here and kill everyone. They're all very powerful seventh fonists."

"That wasn't what happened." Luke looked to Ion for support.

"Well… Yulia City was a stronghold of support for the Grand Maestro fraction. Like Tear? If they hadn't thought that stopping Van from disrupting the Score was the highest priority… They probably would have poisoned you, if you weren't in a coma and the mayor hadn't wanted to avoid upsetting Tear. They assumed that Asch would die soon anyway, so he didn't matter. Just like Natalia."

"But they took in replicas! They're capable of changing."

"Alright, Luke, but we'd better be careful when we're in Yulia City. Nothing has happened to change them yet, remember."

"Be careful?" Van pleaded.

"I will." Luke hugged him. "If I die, I'd just go to the fon belt, so I can come right back. It's the same thing as teleporting."

Reminding Van that Luke could die probably hadn't been the best idea, but Luke was clumsy like that.

Van didn't mind, it was better than the Order's polished half-truths.

Luke came back soon, though, with Mystearica, and helped Van figure out how to make a little sling to carry her around in. She had hair the same color as his, and big eyes. Luke agreed that she was even cuter than Thing.

Nephry cooed over her too, and wanted to be the one to take care of her most of the time, but she was _Van's _little sister.

It was ok if she babysat, though. As long as she asked Van's permission before picking her up, rocking her, cooing at her and _walking off with her_.

Mystearica was Van's little sister, and he was going to protect her. No was going to make her do anything like what they'd tried to make Van do. No one was going to capture her and take her back to Yulia City. He wouldn't let them. He was going to be a good big brother. He'd heat up her milk and make sure it wasn't too hot and hug her when she cried and clean up her messes and love her (he'd be the family for her that he hadn't had, he'd make things be perfect for _someone_).

"Isn't ten a little old for naps?" Peony wondered as he watched Luke tuck Van in, or rather pull a Jabberwock fur over the pile of furs the boy had spontaneously fallen asleep on while reading one of the baby care books.

"Tear wakes up every three hours, and he insisted on being woken up to take care of her." Luke shrugged. He didn't like seeing Van worn out like this, but if that was what Van wanted? He'd been forced to leave Tear to his grandfather while he went out searching for survivors in the original timeline, Luke knew. A ten-year-old, searching the Quiphoth alone, trying to find lumps of land before they finally dissolved, breathing in the poison of the miasma.

And no one had cared. The Score would have said that he'd survive it, and all Van had to do was live long enough for Legretta to fall in love with him and then kill him. What did it matter that he wouldn't live to reach thirty, even without the exposure he'd gotten later from operating the passage rings?

Sometimes, Luke didn't just understand why Van had done what he did. That was easy to understand: if there was a choice between everyone dying and some people living, wasn't the best thing to do the thing that allowed some people to survive? The thing that Luke hadn't understood was why Van didn't want to listen to a third option. Didn't want to save everyone. Had _liked_ that it just wasn't possible to save everyone, or so he'd thought.

Ion thought that a lot of people didn't deserve to be saved, it was pretty clear. Unlike Van, he wasn't trying to make sure they died, he just thought Luke had the right to choose whether or not to save them, and that was all that mattered. He liked that they didn't _have_ to do anything, even dispense justice for Van and so, so many other people.

Ion was a nice person, he _was_, but he hadn't grasped what Luke had on the Tartarus. That it was horrible that people died, that human life had value. Luke knew that Ion understood that Ion's life mattered to Luke, but he thought that was something _special_, something rare and precious that needed protecting. Luke was the first person Ion had met who thought that Ion's life was worth something, so he thought that feeling that way about people was rare. Ion had spent his life like gald, traded it away for Anise and Luke's sake so _easily_, and he didn't view anyone else's life as anything different. Anything more precious. Except Luke's.

Ion had been forced to think of himself as just a chess piece, or something, and that was how the Order really saw _everybody. _That was _wrong_, and Ion didn't get it yet.

Van did, and that was why Van had wanted to smash the board. Destroy the world that was that way, that made people think that way.

Peony spoke, waking Luke from those dark thoughts. "Nephry's kind of jealous." Both of Van getting to spend all that time with the baby and Tear having a big brother like Van.

"I think she's reminding Van of his mother." Which was destroying any tolerance Van might have been gaining for her.

"Oh?"

"She always said Van was, was a monster. And that Tear wouldn't be. Nephry says that Jade is a monster and she isn't. It isn't fair. I guess it's good that Van feels upset on Jade's behalf now." Maybe it would help Van be upset on his own behalf. Understand that how he had been treated was _wrong_.

"…I know you aren't saying that Nephry's a monster." Or anything like a child-abusing sick fuck that made Peony's mother look like she deserved some sort of award for wonderful parenting by comparison.

"Nephry's…" The kind of person who would abandon Peony because the Score said so.

A normal person.

"She's not a bad person," Luke said, but even if she wasn't a bad person he really couldn't say that the way she had been was good, either. She could have _tried _to understand Jade. The things she'd said to Luke, about her own brother, that night in Keterberg?

Jade was much nicer than most people, really. He said what he meant and didn't try to act like it was ok to toy with people. People did the things that Jade had done all the time, cruel jokes and manipulating and all, but at least Jade was honest about it.

Luke sighed, stroking Van's hair a little. People were so complicated. This wasn't going to be easy just because he had Lorelei's powers. After all, Lorelei had had Lorelei's powers, during the Dawn War, and he'd still been forced to help Yulia create the Score. The thing that had gotten everyone working together, made everyone change, had been the _emergency_. And Luke wasn't going to start dumping people into the miasma to force people to change. They really had been riding on the back of Van's plan, all along. They wouldn't have succeeded to easily if it weren't for him.

If Jade hadn't forced him to think this through, he would have just come back to rescue Van. At least he _had _a plan. If he hadn't realized he could bring Ion back to life before he'd come back, then Ion would never have been born. Or made, but what did that matter?

He knew that Jade had said some other stuff to Ion, and anything Jade and Ion cooked up? Their last conspiracy had been how Luke met Ion, that day in Engave. Getting out from under Mohs' nose even with Anise along and everything. They were _scary _when they collaborated. It was probably a good plan, but Luke should probably be afraid. Very afraid. Or the world should be. Jade had changed _fast_, and Luke had no idea what Ion had told him.

Van slept like an exhausted cheagle, only without those annoying sounds. He looked small and soft in his sleep, curling up to try to hide and be safe. Luke liked it that tucking Van in didn't wake him up anymore. Van trusted Luke.

"No. She's not," was Peony's response. There was a _lot _he wasn't being told, Peony knew. Jade was acting like a different person, for one thing. Nephry wasn't trusting it, thinking he'd go back to normal at some point. A leopard couldn't change its spots, after all. "And neither is he. He's a good kid. But he killed Jade, didn't he?"

Luke turned to stare at Peony. "No. Well, he tried," in their battles. "But it was incidental. He read Jade's books."

"He was able to forgive him?" You're kidding me.

"He didn't blame Jade more than anyone else." Regarded him as an irresponsible, self-blinded rat, a horrible excuse for a human being, yes, but that was a good description of practically everyone in the Order and Yulia City. "Didn't I tell you that I talked to Jade?"

"You also brought along Ion, and he died," Peony pointed out, looking at them both. "Malkuth owes Van. You're not a bad kid." His eyes hardened a bit. "But if you don't want Van to be judged by what he did, stop judging Nephry. Ion wasn't subtle about hinting that she'd abandon me and I should accept Jade's feelings instead." Jade's feelings? Jade? If Peony was someone who would joke about something like that, then he'd say 'what feelings?' Sure, Jade might have been the one to see him first, and drag him out of the manor and into the group, but he hadn't said anything, he'd even been crushing on someone else, and Peony had made a commitment to Nephry.

Luke almost fell over. "What? Jade specifically asked us not to do that!" Lots! Occasionally with his spear out!

"I'm not going to abandon Nephry for her own brother. I don't know what possessed me to do that in your time, but don't judge me by those actions unless you want me to… give certain orders you _don't _want me to." Because he was going to be responsible for the Empire, damn it all, and unlike his father he was going to be _responsible_.

"She married someone else because the Score told her to. You never married." It had been worrying people, actually. Even years after the Score disappeared, Nephry had still refused to return to Peony. Maybe because she'd felt ashamed, but shouldn't people be able to put that aside for the sake of someone they loved?

"Aren't you the one saying that the Score, that Lorelei's memory, doesn't matter? And I'm supposed to abandon her because of your memories now?"

That was hypocritical of him. "I'll talk to Ion. Ion… liked Jade."

"Then _he _can marry him."

Luke had just started to recover his equilibrium, and then Peony hit him with a line like that. "No! Not like that. Ion's… young, like I am, and Jade was… maybe the first person who believed that Ion could make a difference. I'm sorry, I'll try to get him to knock it off." Luke scratched the back of his head, embarrassed.

"Good." You'd better. "Implying that Jade swung that way, or could swing that way," since he'd definitely been straight for Professor Gelda, "got Saphir's hopes up, too." And frankly, _Peony_ would be trying to force someone away who acted like Saphir was. Jade being able to tolerate it was just giving Saphir even more probably-false hope.

"Saphir…" No, he shouldn't mention Dist and his hope that Jade would return to his old self that had remained even after the Nebilim replica had offhandedly tried to kill him. Nothing was certain anymore. His memories shouldn't be the new Score, an authority to be constantly referred to.

So he should go kidnap Gailardia (and Pere), while it was still possible for Guy to be a good guy, instead of leaving him there and thinking that Guy would still be like the one Luke remembered. Because Guy had _hated _Asch, and Asch wouldn't be getting replaced by Luke in this world, so that wouldn't change. Asch would still be Asch, the brat who had snuck off to see Natalia even though Guy was the one who got punished for it.

Part of him did want to give Meryl back to Largo. He'd have another god-general on his side then, and Natalia should get her real family… Except that would take her away from Asch, and Asch had constantly claimed that Luke had taken everything from him. Luke didn't want to do it on purpose.

Except he kind of did. If he was going to get abused and possessed and… If he had already been punished for a crime he didn't commit, then why not commit it? Really, he should kidnap Asch, so people didn't take precautions to make sure he destroyed Akzeriuth, but he didn't want to be around Asch. It was wrong of him, but… Despite everything, he couldn't _like _Asch, and this place, these people, were kind of his family now. He didn't want to share them.

Mother would worry herself sick, too. These were people's children he was talking about, even if Duke Fabre would eventually decide to sacrifice 'Luke' and the king wasn't Natalia's real father. He should give them the opportunity to get attached to them, so maybe they'd fight the score for them if it was possible to win. That was Jade's plan.

"Jade, the Jade we knew, wanted you to be happy. With Nephry. Even if it meant that his time with you would never happen. He cared about you a lot. He was important to us. I know this Jade isn't the same as our Jade, and you aren't his Peony, but Ion and I miss them." And you're just going to have to put up with that. Because we cared about them, and now they're gone.

If it weren't for the fact that he'd sworn that he'd do whatever it took to bring Akzeriuth back (well, technically to make up for it, but as Tear had told him there was no other way to do that) and Van, he would have left things as they were, no matter how imperfect the ending had been. Asch and Natalia unable to reconnect, Jade and Peony split apart because of Peony's vain hope that Nephry would forgive him for the great crime of loving her brother as she'd failed to do (begrudging him his happiness), Tear wanting Luke to return to her when he couldn't, not without destroying Asch's mind, and so many more things that just didn't happen in stories.

He hadn't wanted things to be that way. But freedom didn't care what he, or Lorelei wanted. Being free meant free to mess up.

Luke reminded himself that he couldn't try to hold himself responsible for other people's actions, only his own. He'd always blamed himself for Asch's cowardice (he hadn't been willing to come forward that day, and so Luke had been left in Fabre Manor) and Van's hypnosis, but Lorelei had pointed out that saying he was responsible for that was taking responsibility away from them. Was claiming that he should have control over their actions, and that wasn't right.

Peony sighed. "I'm sorry. I wouldn't have this chance to be with Nephry if it weren't for you." Watching Nephry argue for hours, unable to get past the idea that doing this would be defying the Score until the idea that it was possible was put into lots of very small words, had proven that. It was just such an inconceivable idea for normal people. And Nephry was normal. Not like Jade, or Saphir, or even him. A little bit, anyway, he wasn't a genius with fonons even if he could cast a pretty mean arte. By normal standards.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. If you want to apologize at all." It didn't mean anything if it was fake. Luke turned back to Van. "But if she doesn't stop calling people monsters, then I don't want her around the children. Or Ion. I think she gives him ideas." Ion did _not _appreciate his precious people being insulted or viewed as less than human.

Peony sighed. "She's not like that. She was trying to warn you, even you admitted that."

"A real monster wouldn't have…" Luke hadn't ever seen a real monster. Even Mohs had truly believed he was doing the right thing. There wasn't any black, just grey that held people down and choked them. That poisoned their minds, like the miasma.

He'd seen proof that Van was wrong. Seeing the world Van had grown up in? It almost proved him right. "When Nephry stops insulting Jade, Ion will stop insulting her." Well, probably. Ion held grudges like _anything_. "And if she wants a baby so much, she should marry you and stop scaring Van." Van already had enough nightmares. Luke sighed. "Sorry I'm not good with people. I keep offending them when I don't mean to, and right now I'm kind of angry so part of me does want to offend you, so you know how Jade, Van and Ion feel and stop it."

Peony tilted his head. "…You had people misunderstand you a lot, didn't you? You'd try to do something nice for them and they'd say you were being a jerk. So Jade's reminding you of yourself, isn't he? So when someone insults him, it brings up those memories."

"I guess I do want to defend him because no one defended me. That's what Lorelei said. It's the same thing with Ion and Van. The people that were supposed to love Van just used him, just like me. And Ion never even got to believe that anyone should see him as worth protecting, and that's like Van too. At least Van let me think that I was worth something. It made me very happy. He didn't have to be so kind, he gave me what he'd wished for." Someone to at least pretend to love him, someone that would say he wasn't a monster or an idiot failure. "You and Nephry… I think you understand a bit. You were unwanted because you were an embarrassment. You were shut up in a manor just like I was, until Jade got you out. I'll always be grateful to Tear for getting me out.

"Saphir understands too, everyone thought he was a nuisance and just pretended to tolerate him, like Thing. Jade was _honest_ about thinking Saphir was annoying, and that meant that when Saphir did something good and Jade wanted him around for awhile, that Jade really did want him around and wasn't pretending. It was something real. That's why he loves Jade. Nephry… she thinks she's entitled to being loved. She takes your love for granted, and she feels like Jade is obligated to love her just because they're family. That's not true, Asch never cared about me. Blood doesn't mean anything. And Jade does love her, a lot, and she never even bothered to work to figure that out. He created fomicry for her! The power that can save this world from the score exists because he loves her, and she still treats that like trash!" How could anyone be so cruel?

Peony had to bow his head. "You're right, but she's not a bad person."

"No. She's normal. It's just that normal people aren't good people." And he, and Lorelei, still loved them. "Everyone thought I was stupid, because I still loved Master Van. If doing rotten things meant that people shouldn't be loved, then no one should ever be loved. The more I see of the world, the more I see just how kind Master Van was to me. He thought I was a tool to be used, but that meant he saw me as just like himself. A person, just like himself. He gave me everything he'd ever wanted, and I couldn't see that. I was a child who needed love to be obvious." He looked back at the entrance to the Sephiroth were Van rested. "And now I have children to look after, and… When I was the only one suffering, that was ok. I deserved it. But Ion didn't, and Van doesn't. Then there's Tear, and Guy, and Natalia, and Jade, even though he's still a decade older than me. I feel like I have to fix things, for them. So they don't have to grow up the way we did."

"You really do think that you can change the world."

"The more I see, the less I think that I can do it," Luke confessed. "But we did it before. With Van and everyone's help. We'll do it again." He nodded. "And this time Van and Ion can be a part of it."

"A happy ending?"

Luke nodded. That was exactly it. "They should have had a chance to be happy. I'm going to give them one."


	5. Yesod

_I realize this is much shorter than the other chapters, and I didn't get to Jade character development. I'm posting this now since I wanted to show it to a friend and sending her the doc isn't working. So, you get random fluff._

_I wasn't sure if the Tataroo Valley sephiroth was Yesod, which would make the most plot sense, Chesed (which either it or the Zao ruins have to be – the Zao ruins would make more sense given its meaning). So, I checked the cutscene where they edited the passage ring. I was… It's the sixth according to Jade, so Tiferet? Okaaaay… Wait, that makes the diagram Luke drew on make even less sense, and what? Akzeriuth was the fifth? By both traditional numbering systems, the fifth is Gevurah, when the way the Albertesque seal works means that Akzeriuth basically had to be Nezach. If it weren't for the Albertesque seal, I might consider that Akzeriuth could be Gevurah, except there's no other sephiroth that works for Nezach. So yeah._

_Tataroo is Yesod, Meggiora is Tiferet, Zao is Chesed. Hod is Hod, Akzeriuth is Nezach, Shurrey is Binah (St. Binah), Mt. Roneal is Keter (Keterburg means Keter Mountain), Zaleho is Gevurah (fire), Yulia City is Daath (the hidden Sephiroth, not to mention that it's located underground close to the city of Daath) & the radiation and absorption gates are Malkuth and Chokmah. That's the arrangement that makes the most sense, anyway._

_Yesod means foundation, and Tataroo Valley is where Luke's journey (and Asch's new life) begin._

* * *

"Guy is six."

"Welcome home Luke," Ion said cheerfully.

Luke grabbed Ion's shoulders. "Guy is six."

"Yes?" Ion could do math too. Why was Luke looking at him like this was so earth-shaking?

"It's cute things," Van explained, leading Gailardia into the ice cave by the hand. "Like Thing." And Tear. Although he didn't know if her name should be shortened to Tear. That was what his mother had called her, and Luke called her it too, but he would have called her Mystearica. Tear was too sad a name, and he'd wanted his little sister to be happy. They were going to be happy, now, so maybe Misty? Or should they have pseudonyms that didn't sound anything like their real names, so people wouldn't suspect?

"Didn't Pere come with you?" Ion asked.

"He stayed so we'd have a spy in the Fabre household, but, but Ion, Guy is six!"

"Yes, I can see that." Ion looked at Jade: did Jade know what Luke was going on about? Jade just shrugged, he didn't understand this cuteness thing either. Ion patted Luke on the back, trying to remember what people did to calm other people down.

Guy was clinging to Van's hand. Van had insisted on coming, even though he might be recognized in Kimlasca, since that was the only way Pere would trust Luke and Guy should have someone he knew there, instead of being handed over to strangers. Van took his responsibility to protect Guy seriously, even though it was really Guy's job to protect him and they hadn't done a good job. Well, it wasn't their fault. They hadn't been able to protect anybody, everybody on Hod had died. He was just glad Lord Gailardia was ok.

"He's so tiny!" Luke said to Ion, and Ion wondered if Luke was trying to share his excitement, like when he'd wanted Ion to understand why Luke found training fun. Well, Ion had learned to enjoy training, although not for the same reasons Luke did. Ion liked spending time with Luke and knowing that he could kill things that tried to hurt him, or Luke.

Guy was indeed short, much shorter than Van (even if he was obviously larger than baby Tear), and blond, and looked utterly helpless and vulnerable yet hopeful.

Honestly, Ion didn't understand cute. The purpose of cute was to invoke protective instincts towards small, helpless living creatures that needed nurturing, and Ion and his brothers had been incredibly cute, and Ion had learned that small, helpless needy things were murdered for kicks or thrown into volcanoes. The idea that an appearance he associated with 'victim' was this 'cute' that people kept talking about, was supposed to mean that things _weren't _supposed to be harmed, was counterintuitive. Van had tried to explain about big eyes and soft hair and so on, but Ion still didn't quite get it.

"That's nice, Luke." He hoped Guy wouldn't take up as much of everyone's time as Tear did. Well, at least he would start being helpful sooner?

Ion had been able to fake running a religion by the time he was a year old. The idea that people had this period of several years during which they were not only allowed but supposed to be a burden on others instead of productive was kind of annoying. _He _hadn't gotten a childhood, although Luke was trying to fix that. Ion didn't _want _to be useless, though, not just because useless things got killed (Luke wasn't like that) but he wanted to help Luke.

Van worked hard to be useful. Tear screamed in the middle of the day and woke people up and they had to scramble to give her what she wanted so she'd shut up. If _Ion _had acted like that, he'd have been killed. "He is potty-trained, right?"

"Yes," Van said, a little miffed on Guy's behalf. Then he paused. "Mostly," he corrected himself. "Pere said that he got traumatized. I'll clean it up if he does wet the bed."

"I'll do that, you've got Tear to look over," Luke said, almost hurriedly. "I didn't buy clothes that small. We can put him in a big shirt!"

"Are you sure that's a good idea? It's cold here."

"Right." Luke considered for a moment. "Tataroo Valley."

"Tataroo Valley?" Ion asked, surprised.

Luke said, "It's sunny and there are fields to run around in." The Zao and Meggiora sephiroth were in deserts, the volcano was out of the question (too close to death and too many memories for Ion), Akzeriuth's was in a city and the two gates were even colder than this, or they would be if it weren't for all the fonons.

"What about Shurrey Hill?" Ion wondered. "It's closer to the Cheagle village, and Van likes cheagles. Tear should, too." The Tear they had known had.

"Tataroo Valley is close to the main trade route to Chesedonia," Luke said, as they all followed Van and Guy towards the fire, where Nephry and the others were. Whatever Peony had said to Nephry, she had made enough peace with Van that he had allowed her to Tearsit, even if _only _because he was going to go get Guy and he wasn't going to put Tear in danger.

"Isn't that a reason we shouldn't move there?" Ion asked Luke.

"The monsters near the sephiroth are dangerous during the daytime, too dangerous for traders to wander over to the sephiroth. Van will be ok, though." Compared to Mt. Roneal's they weren't much problem. "And we can train Guy – he already has a wooden practice sword!" It was so cute!

"Don't hug Lord Gailardia!" They heard Van yell and winced in tandem. They turned towards the fire to see Van standing between a cowering Guy and Nephry, who was somewhere between shocked, hurt and peeved.

"Don't, please. Guy's afraid of women." Luke didn't want to talk about what had happened to him, Guy had suppressed the memory for a reason. "If you grab him, it will really scare him."

"It's ok," Van told her, calming down. "You didn't know."

Luke bent down to pick up Guy, inwardly melting over how Guy was so small that Luke could pick him up without straining himself, and Guy was already willing to be hugged and lean against him. "It's alright, see? We're all fine. This is Nephry, and she's going to be fine. I won't let anything happen to any of you, ok?"

Guy nodded hesitantly. "Ok." His voice was small, but when Luke finally put him down he reached for Luke's hand instead of Van's, even though he leaned against Van too when they sat together.

"Don't tell him that Tear's a girl baby, ok?" Ion whispered to what Van had dubbed the old people, even though Nephry was about Luke's age. "I'll tell Luke not to."


End file.
